I find a little spot out in the woods, a little hollow under a great old oak, and I sit back, closing my eyes, and think of you. I remember the day still, clear as crystal in my minds eye. It never, ever gets easier. I remember my world came crashing down around my ears that day. Oh Joshua, I wish you wouldn't have gone away...
Those echoing halls closed in around me as I read the letter you left for me, making my heart race as I hoped against all hopes that it was a lie. The bullies, the fighting at home, the beatings from your parents...It all became too much, didn't it? The tears ran down my face like breaking of a pair of rusty pipes, falling like crystalline streams as I scrambled to the only place I thought you would be.
I remember, you loved the gardens so much. It was fairly quiet, filled with birdsong here and there, and we would talk. I was always the shoulder you needed, as we nurtured the life in that place. A quiet area, with no violence, only care, and love. The one thing you craved more than anything.
I remember the silence that filled my mind and my heart as I came, and didn't see you sitting there with that goofy, crooked smile and random lock of hair covering your eyes. You really were gone. My worst nightmare, a reality.
I didn't want to believe it. The letter was your goodbye, wasn't it. You
asked me to look after your parents, to get them to stop fighting. Your last wish was to see them happy. You said I that I did my best, but everything overwhelmed you. You found a place in the woods, where no one could hurt you again. I should keep moving. Never forget you, but never let myself stop moving forward.
Oh joshua, it's been 10 years to the day, and I still think back to you. You were the best friend I could have ever asked for, and I hold you close in my heart. I know that things are better for you now. I can hear it in each breeze and birdsong, see it in each little flower and treeleaf. I know that you're watching me, and giving me a little shove on the back like you used to.
Oh joshua, I've planted my roots, and bloomed new flowers, just like you wanted me to. Your parents stopped fighting, and have slowly become happy. We still talk, once a year, and remember how brave and strong a boy you were. I have carried on your inner fire, helping others where I can and trying to keep moving on, myself. My life has been filled with hardships, as I'm sure you've seen, but I've never once stopped moving forward..
I hope that you continue to smile, and keep watch over me, my guardian angel, the great Oak Tree that you were when you were here with us in this world. I will keep moving forward, Joshua. And I will always remember my best friend. As long as I keep you close in my heart, you're never really gone...
In memoria, Joshua 'The Silent Oak' maple